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gothickitten55's avatar
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Literature Text

The end result is the same,.
Weakness.
A thing to be despised.
I cant stand seeing it in myself.

If I want to do something - or not do something,
I should be able to do it.
enjoy
© 2005 - 2024 gothickitten55
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supercrazygrrl's avatar
I am going to warn you now, I can not write short poetry because I feel that it is incomplete, so if I seem biased in that way, I am sorry.

As a short piece, I am pleased to see that you did not try to jam-pack a billion things into it and then end up failing because of the lack of content. You chose something to stick to and used it for the entire piece, which means that it has climbed in esteem for me. You do know what you're doing.

"The end result is the same,.
Weakness."


Very vague opening. Usually, vauge=bad, but I don't feel that way right now. I find that the simplicity of it is very grabbing, making me want to read both because I can find something in it to relate to myself adn because I want to see if there is more to it later.

"I cant stand seeing it in myself."

Ditto. Another part of the piece that draws me in as a person. There is a very human element to this.

For me, the ending was lacking, I did not feel a definite sense of closure from the piece. But, for all I know, that could be how you intended it. For a short piece, I was surprisingly happy with it.

:star::star::star::star::star::star::star:/:star::star::star::star::star::star::star::star::star::star: