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Literature Text
Falling in love is painful.
It always leads to scraped knees,
And broken hearts.
Kiss my wounds, wipe my tears,
And tell me it will be ok.
Maybe next time you can catch my fall?
It always leads to scraped knees,
And broken hearts.
Kiss my wounds, wipe my tears,
And tell me it will be ok.
Maybe next time you can catch my fall?
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I wrote this a few hours ago - I think my muse has come back to me lately. I have no complaints, she has been helping me deal.
© 2005 - 2024 gothickitten55
Comments6
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A slight amendment: The falling part feels grand, it's hitting the ground that kills the joy.
Falling in love is painful. (subject, checkmate)
It always leads to scraped knees,
And broken hearts. (the two are pretty far apart, knees and heart. Why not sprained funny bone, or fractured humorous?)
Kiss my wounds, whipe my tears, (wipe)
And tell me it will be ok.
Maybe next time you can catch my fall? (okay...)
Couple of things. First of all, who are you talking to? The person that you fell in love with, that hurt you? Or who? Next, I know it's short, but that doesn't leave an excuse for skimping on subject matter, hit harder! I don't know about you, but for most people getting hurt freakin' sucks more then just scraped knees. Show that. The second stanza seems sedated, cautiously optimisticfeels like the tone, but I think that goes back to who the audience is here.
Let's discuss it.
Falling in love is painful. (subject, checkmate)
It always leads to scraped knees,
And broken hearts. (the two are pretty far apart, knees and heart. Why not sprained funny bone, or fractured humorous?)
Kiss my wounds, whipe my tears, (wipe)
And tell me it will be ok.
Maybe next time you can catch my fall? (okay...)
Couple of things. First of all, who are you talking to? The person that you fell in love with, that hurt you? Or who? Next, I know it's short, but that doesn't leave an excuse for skimping on subject matter, hit harder! I don't know about you, but for most people getting hurt freakin' sucks more then just scraped knees. Show that. The second stanza seems sedated, cautiously optimisticfeels like the tone, but I think that goes back to who the audience is here.
Let's discuss it.